Let me just say, I thought I was a very difficult person to surprize. My brain constantly ticks, never stopping. Like the now-husband likes to say, ‘your mouse never stops. make it sleep’. It was no different with my hens party. I had all the theories of when the party would be. I was convinced, 100000%, that it would be on my birthday weekend. Convinced. I even had this smug conversation with the now-husband. Gah! they cant surprize me! Im too clever. I laugh now at how ridiculous that was. Well, my awesome girls got the last laugh. They got me good.
The now-husband had his bachelors three weeks before the wedding and it was a weekend away affair. The Friday night I was all ready. Waiting. I got a few messages but nothing exciting. Then I started feeling a bit meh, because all the boys are gone, why aren’t any of the girls meeting up to do something?? Oh well, I went to bed. Saturday, I had a planned day. I decided stuff it! I’m keeping myself busy today. In fact, I even had a spit braai to go to that afternoon. So I started getting all these invites from my bridesmaids to do stuff with them, but had to decline due to the spitbraai. And at that point, I accepted that I wasn’t going to have my party, and started feeling sorry for myself. Yes, I had a pity party for one. My beautiful MOH and I were going to the spitbraai together so I was waiting for her to pick me up. (typing this, I realise how obvious it sounds that it was quite clear that they’ve been plotting heavily against me, but I was clueless to it all). The invites to do stuff was what threw me off completely. Because what if I said yes?? Not aware of the fact that they were all very well informed of the spitbraai I was planning on going to. I don’t know what they would’ve done if the spitbraai wasn’t happening that weekend?? Anyway.
Just before my MOH was about to pick me up, I received a call from one of my other friends, telling me she was outside, and put the phone down. I quickly peeped outside the window and saw no one there. Meh, must’ve dialed the wrong number. I heard a car hoot outside, and thought that that car hooter sounds very familiar. When I went outside, there they were. My mom and my MOH, millions of balloons and a big smile on her face. They got me. I immediately burst into tears and got the shakes. They rallied me up, tied all the balloons to me and got me in the car. I had no idea where we were going.
After a quick 2 minute drive we pulled into my moms place where I thought I was going to just get all dressed and ready for what lies ahead. But what I got instead when I walked in, were a million happy smiles of all my beautiful friends! SURPRIZE!
I was so overwhelmed. It’s quite intimidating having all that attention on you that I went all stupid and didn’t know what to do! Saying hello to everyone is probably a good start. I retreated to my mom’s bedroom instead. Only to get dressed. Not hide. Well maybe a little. The ladies got me a beautiful black lace dress, which they forced me to try one whilst we went outfit shopping for them. I must be the dumbest bride ever for not picking up on any of this.
I went to say hello to everyone, when the next minute I had two familiar faces peep out around the corner: two of my favourite JHB girls! I couldn’t believe they came all that way to celebrate this special time with me. Getting married, really is one of the best experiences ever. The amount of love you receive is just so overwhelming. I quickly looked for my other favourite jhb girl’s faces but sadly they couldn’t make it.
The girls and my mom threw me a french-themed hens party. I love the french and even went for french lessons to learn the language. It was so beautifully done and so much effort was put into it!
It was so exciting to see everyone! Everyone made such an effort in dressing up and looking gorgeous. We played a few games (in which I sucked so badly), drank a lot (I got fed charcoal tablets. I still don’t know what those are), had lots of yummy food, took hilarious photos, and eventually hit the town in our very gangster party bus.
Our first stop was S43. Generally, I love this place. It has the coolest decor and vibe and you can always rely on having a good time there. But for some reason, no one was feeling the hens party vibe. We had a few drinks and shooters but swiftly moved on to our next stop. Maybe it was all the hipsters. Or the fact that we lost the rugby. Meh.
Next up was Drop Kick Murphys. Now this place, is a hens party’s dream. Loads of vibey people, friendly staff and just always guaranteed a great time. It’s your super upgrade from billy the bums when it comes to hens parties. I don’t remember much from here on, but I do remember stealing the ridiculously large menu, sticking it inside my dress, and making all my friends touch my ‘menu boobs’. It was awkward.
OFF TO THE CLUB! At this point, I remember nothing. Now apparently, if you pre arrange with Tiger Tiger that you are coming over with a hen and all her little henlits (i have no idea what that word is) they arrange free entry for your whole party and a free bottle of champagne. What a win. All I remember vividly from this part, was eating a hot dog, outside, with my dear jhb friend.
The next morning, I heard it all. I woke up with my MOH next to me, feeling a little broken. We were reminiscing over the night’s activities when she mentioned ever so nonchalantly: wow you rode a giant penis. Um excuse me. I thought she was testing me and how little I remember. But no, this was a true story. Tiger Tiger, has a mechanical penis ladies.
Nailed a down down like a BOSS!
I actually have a video of this where I end this down down off with a little victory dance. What a champ.
And that, was the end of me.
What a spectacular hens party. I’ve come to the realisation that I am certainly not the young twenty-something party animal I used to be. It now takes me two days to recover from a hangover. My body is now old and frail (dramatic, I know) I have the memory of a gold fish but I have the best friends any girl could ask for! And the best mom who was a true sport in partying with us.
now-husband, wasn’t any better off either: